Monday, August 07, 2006

Realistic Expectations and Choosing My Perspective

I've been fairly satisfied with the scheduling of my mapping appointments, except for the time we went from every other week to two months. The audiologist made only minor changes, and I had so wished she could keep tweaking it so it would sound like what I
remembered from 20 years ago. Sigh...another unrealistic dream bites the dust.

She always gives me the fredom to call her with any problems or other needs. I guess I really need to do some more focused practice. :-/

Someone else on my list responded to those comments with, "I think part of my problem was that I was not being realistic too. I wanted to put it on and hear like I did 22 years ago. I am beginning to see that now and making some adjustments in what I expect. I need to celebrate the little steps forward, however small they may be. I think I'm going to have to start a journal in order to do that. Or else I might get discouraged on days when it doesn't seem to be going so great.

It sure is wonderful Technology and I am thankful!"

That's a good reminder for me, to keep working on (ok, get BACK to working on...) my auditory rehabilitation exercises, and also to get back to making note of what I realize I can hear NOW that I couldn't hear a week ago.

Celebrations are so relative, aren't they?!? So much of life is a matter of how one frames things, what one's perspective is. Sure, I'm still struggling to hear. But I spoke with an acquaintance today who is going in tomorrow for her last radiation treatment for cancer somewhere near the right side of her jawbone, treatment number 35. Each time it gets worse: everything tastes like sawdust (even water), she has no energy, her cheek and neck burn, she has sores in her mouth and nose and throat, anything acidic makes them burn, she can't use her AC in all this heat (unless it is unbearably extreme) because she needs the humidity to be able to breathe and keep her airways from drying out from the radiation.

I'll take my hearing loss. I'll rejoice that I live in a time and in a place where I have access to this amazing technology in my cochlear implant. I'll rejoice that my children, and my husband and I, are healthy. I'll rejoice that John has the intellectual, social, and emotional ability to thrive at USC. I'll rejoice that David has so many talents and skills on the computer that he can market himself that way. I'll rejoice that I have a job I love. I'll rejoice that, in Christ, I have an almost infinite number of brothers and sisters in Him all over the world that I can connect with because of our common belief in Him.

Psalm 25:8 NLT "The Lord is good and does what is right; He shows the proper path to those who go astray." Dear God, please continue to show me the paths away from self pity and grumbling! Help me to remember "Your unfailing love and compassion, which You have shown from long ages past." (v6).

I am so grateful, so very grateful to know You, to love You, to see Your hand in my life. "Thank you, God, for everything." Amen.