Saturday, February 27, 2010

Revising Me

From my friend's blog as he looks for work, revising his resume: "I revise because I am being revised." That statement fairly sums up my life of the past 10 years, as I have lost my hearing. I launched my second job change this past week, because *I* am being revised. For me, working with small children is turning out to be incompatible with having two cochlear implants. This feels somewhat like a precious thing is being ripped out of my heart, so it's been a rough week. I have had to do the work of grieving what can no longer work.

But by Friday, having sat with my cup of tea each day and wept honestly before God, I finally woke up in peace. This is not to say I will not weep over any more cups of tea on this topic. As I walk towards the end of the school year with my little students, more tears will flow. But for now, in this moment, on this day, I have peace.

I am truly excited about the new opportunity before me, and accepting that I would likely never have headed in that direction if it were not for my hearing loss. So, with one hand, the hearing loss has ripped out a piece of my heart; with the other it is giving me a gift of a new joy for my heart.

Yes, I am being revised. And yes, it is intoxicatingly freeing to seek what new thing God has for me now.

(here's my friend Dave's original post: )