Thoughts Activation Day Morning

I realized last Wednesday morning (the day before my surgery), as I drove up to the regular Wednesday noon Eucharist and prayer service, that I was no longer scared. I wasn't even nervous. I just felt happily, quietly at peace. It was a wonderful feeling. The outlook of going deaf hadn't changed--it was my heart and mind that had changed. I had done my work of grieving and of acknowledging my fear, and I was ready for my surgery. It was a very satisfying feeling.

Morning of the surgery, i was so happy! I couldn't stop smiling. I pulled the same trick, telling everyone, "I'm a preschool teacher. You have to let me take your picture for show and tell." One person said, "Well, if it's for little kids, that's ok. I just don't want my picture ending up on YouTube!"

Last night was my first time to join a live chat on www.HearingJourney.com -- my CI manufacturer's peer support website. It was fun. Trading stories about waiting for activation, talking about who's going bilateral, who's going for a mapping in someone else's city and can they meet up for coffee at the airport. They really know each other, and I know many of them from reading their blogs.

Now it is time to go downtown for MY activation. The doctor will remove the staples first. I think there's only maybe five of them? The incision seems to be about 2/3 the size of the last one, and I was told it was small! I have my camera in my bag, and I have my black/blue/green/yellow eye covered with a few layers of makeup! (I have to be a little vain since people want me to post this on YouTube...!) So off we go!